1 month sober and so much more…

I wrote this in my earlier blog and wanted to re-share it in this blog as well.  It has much significance in my life and what more I’d like to share with you…

As a side note, I mentioned how hubby cooked some greek style chicken, beef chili and then a beef roast in the last several days.  I was at first HIGHLY concerned. Why you might be wondering?!? Well, because he uses some sort of alcohol is ALL 3 of these things.  In the greek chicken he used dry white wine, and in both the beef chili and beef roast some dry red wine (but usually he would use 24 oz of beer in the chili…) and thus I was scared I’d want to finish off the open(ed) bottles of wine.  Much to my surprise I have had little to NO desire to do this on those days he cooked it and even NOW…. so there are 2 OPENED BOTTLES OF WINE IN MY FRIDGE STILL!!!! This I see as a HUGE accomplishment in EPIC proportions!!!! Maybe we can actually do this thing… that thing being… living a sober life from here forward….. WOOHOO!!!  I’m not going to put the cart in front of the horse just yet though, as I don’t want to get ahead of myself and give my self all this false hope that I am invincible. Sobriety is a journey, a way of life… not a destination or vacation.

And here we are today, Friday… today actually is such a special day… today marks 1 MONTH SOBER… NO ALCOHOL for either myself and for hubby!!!  I honestly haven’t felt this physically good (granted still WAY out of shape since I haven’t started working out yet, but still!) in years!  I have been sleeping over all so much better.  I’ve been much more clear minded and honestly, my anxiety has been decreased (but not gone, I still have my moments!) but better.  I just feel a bit calmer I guess. 

I am so proud of not only myself, but also my hubby.  His career is VERY high stress and most if not all his colleagues often drink (or so I’ve been told, I haven’t witnessed it firsthand so please don’t hold me to that statement!)… so him coming home after a high stress, high in demand job, the best way to take the edge off and forget about work was to throw back a few to unwind… makes sense, doesn’t it?!?!  Well, it sure did for he and I.  So for him to have now been withstanding the temptation a month later and not taking a sip here or there, it SUCH a FANTASTIC accomplishment!!

So here we are, hubby and I are at work (all day) and actually are going to be heading out of town this evening to early Sunday afternoon.  We are going to be getting a hotel room in a fairly touristy area not too far from where we live, but we splurged on a hot tub room, so we can just sit in there and relax this evening and all day tomorrow and maybe even Sunday morning before we come back home. 

With that being said, this is going to be a new experience for the both of us as whenever we have gotten hotel rooms in the past, we’d make DAMN sure we would stock up on the beer and or wine both on our way out of town. Oh and if we ran out, we’d definitely go get more.  We’d rationalize we are getting away for the night or weekend so we can drink most often in excess.  In addition to that booze in the room for before we head out or for when we come back, most if not all our activities we would do or places we would go would be planned around or would revolve getting alcohol and usually much of it….

But this time is going to be way different…. this time it’s going to be alcohol-free.  I’m kind of nervous a little truth be told.  Not that we’ll cave and go get beer or wine, but just about spending this time together with hubby as this is really kind of foreign to us.  It is just simply something we have NEVER done before… get a room and NOT drink/”have a good time”.

Over the last month, hubby and still have been having our moments of tension (sometimes worse than others).  I honestly hoped by us quitting drinking our overall understanding (maybe I should throw in there, acceptance?!) of one another would just follow suit and get better too, but although somethings have gotten better, other things have either stayed the same or gotten a bit more strained (I don’t want to say worse).  I just want to chalk it up (point the finger at, if you will) at learning more about each other in a much different light now and trying to figure out what to do with ourselves instead of drinking all the time together, like how we use to.  If I’m going to be truthful, I must say yesterday was very trying and he and I did not have a very good evening together sadly.  It was full of just misunderstandings and tension and frustrations to the point of raising a lot of doubt and us questioning our future.  It really was a downer.  But again, I think we are still getting use to this new thing called not drinking (all the time when we can of course) to have fun together….

SO, what I am hoping that comes from this little getaway of ours is that we learn how to spend true QUALITY time together, discovering things about one another that maybe we never knew or maybe we have just forgotten over the last 7 almost 8 years spent  together.  I would LOVE that, in all honesty.

We both have so many dreams, hopes and aspirations individually and as a married couple that we just can’t seem to escape long enough from the jaws of reality, our every day lives and obligations to stop, breath, smell the roses you can say and reflect on ourselves as individuals or as US, to just truly nourish and cultivate our marriage and our love for one another.  We have SO much to look forward to in our lives.

On this little getaway since we will NOT be partaking in ANY alcohol consumption of any kind, I have been working on a list of things we should bring along instead.  This list includes both goodies and activities.  Some things such as: bottled water, iced tea, pop, snack foods (animal crackers, Cheesits, peanuts etc) also, some of the many board/card games hubby and I have accumulated over the years we’ve been together and our phones in case we decide to watch some movies or tv shows on netflix along the way.  The weather is going to be pretty cool to be out walking about much, but since we’ll have a hot tub in our room, who needs to go outside anyway?!?!  I would much rather not!

Hubby will be working on Monday (New Year’s Eve) and I’ll most likely be tagging along.  So I’ll try to update about our little getaway as well as New Year’s Eve… which in turn can easily be another blog entry, but I will digress, for now… 🙂

Have a great weekend all and I do hope everyone of you had a wonderful Christmas!

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